And almost brought down the country club. We shouldn’t have stopped there. It was Las Colinas in Irving, Texas, and I think my dad paid a lot later. He never said a word. He was cool like that. But, later, I realized that in all the years that he had been going there to swim or play tennis, he had never seen a black member.

Jimmy Dean (sausage company) came up to me and whispered, “Take care girl,” and I knew what he meant. He then shook my date’s hand and uttered compliments, questions, and information about him to the point that we both looked at each other curiously.

You see, my date was black and I was white, white, white. It wasn’t until he was identified as one of the Doomsday Defense that the stunned looks ceased. The women just gave me glares until they realized who he was and then it eased up a bit.

We met at a restaurant called Biff’s and then we ran into each other at the Byron Nelson golf tournament. I was Miss Irving. He was Mr. Everything. Everyone wanted to touch him: shake his hand, pat him on the back, take his picture. We both had braces on our teeth.

“There’s a Dallas Cowboy in the lobby!” a girl yelled as she entered the common bathroom in my dorm room at SMU where I was a student. I knew he was there for me, but they weren’t. “Guess who’s in the lobby!” another student announced as she entered.

When I took the elevator down to the lobby, a crowd had gathered. They parted like the Red Sea when they saw him smile and stretch out his arm. It was magical and I was plagued with questions for weeks.

He invited me to a charity event sponsored by the dairy company that had just hired him as their spokesperson. I could not believe it. For a few hours, we mingled with Roger Staubach, trainer Tom Landry, ‘Hollywood’ Henderson, Ed ‘Too Tall’ Jones, and even Tony Dorsett. Charlie Waters and his wife Rosie looked ready to be shot for Town & Country, each more attractive than the other.

But they were the Dallas Cowboys and they were invincible: New stadium. Super Bowl won. America team. They were on top of their game and everyone knew it.

He picked me up in my bedroom and walked me to the smallest sports I’ve ever gotten into. I’m six feet barefoot and I wore heels that night. It still dwarfed me.

We had a great time that night. Then we stopped at a club in Addison where the waitress brought a cup of hot chocolate before we could order. None of us drank and he was known in that place so they just took care of him. We shared that drink by passing it back and forth and talking. I had no idea how exciting it was for me to meet Tom Landry, who was a living legend.

He called me several times after that, but I never went out with him again. I was trying to get acclimated to a very tough university and it was taking all my attention. Then, I went abroad to England to study and lost sight of it. He was a special person and I had only been on one date before him and that was my high school prom where my best friend Barry Banks had to convince someone to take me.

I was a tall, skinny, headgear-wearing geek at 17. (thanks dad, that’s how they made Ugly Betty ugly!) I wasn’t a cheerleader. I was one of the editors of the school newspaper and vice president of my class. Then this superstar asked me out and I had the night of my life. I still cherish the memory, but not of the stars and critical looks I received from women, not men. They gave me visual hell.

Racism is not what is said or done; is the feeling of it. No one had to say a word about how they felt about seeing a ‘mixed’ couple. I felt the energy of the stars and the mixed judgment within them.

I have never been a racist and I hope I am never mistaken for one. I enjoy the differences and similarities of each ethnic group and do not find it offensive to acknowledge them. My date was a perfect gentleman and we had a fancy night together. I wouldn’t trade the memory for anything.

Thank you Harvey Martin and rest in peace, (Pancreatic cancer took his life at 51)