In my college stress management textbook, Coping with Stress in a Changing World, I define stress as “a holistic transaction between an individual and a potential stressor that results in a stress response.” This way of defining stress combines three elements of the most modern definitions of stress;

(1) view stressors as possible stressors,

(2) transforming a potential stressor into an actual stressor involves a transaction between you and the potential stressor that takes place in a specific holistic context, and

(3) the outcome of the transaction determines whether a physiological stress response is activated.

Stress begins with the presence of a potential stressor, something that is personally threatening and has the ability to trigger a stress response within you. This potential stressor can be a person, place, thing, situation, thought, emotion, or bodily sensation. There is an unlimited variety of possible stressors. It is important to understand that a stressor is really just a potential stressor until you feel threatened by it and unable to cope with it. A bill, for example, is rarely a stressor if you have enough money in your checking account to pay it. It becomes stressful when you don’t know how you are going to pay it or when you know that you need that money for something else. Often times, the threat posed by a potential stressor is more ambiguous than just described, and the uneasiness you feel when exposed to it is partly due to your inability to identify what is making you uncomfortable. The threat could be to your self-esteem, someone dear to you, or a variety of other things.

A transaction is the actual assessment of the threat posed by the potential stressor. It involves weighing the degree of threat posed by the potential stressor against your perceived ability to cope. Coping involves your own psychological strengths, as well as external resources. An important fact about stress transactions is that they do not occur in a vacuum. They are holistic because they are influenced by your overall level of physical, social, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, occupational, and environmental health at the time you are exposed to them. Your general level of health and well-being provides a frame of reference (or context) for your exposure and assessment of the potential stressor.

Your assessment of a potential stressor is always influenced by when and where you are exposed and your overall level of health and well-being at the time. This is why you will evaluate the same potential stressor differently the next time you are exposed to it. Not only will you be exposed to it at a different time and under different circumstances, but you will be a different person (a little older and wiser, maybe more rested, maybe on your way home from a wonderful vacation, etc.) .

The last component of my definition refers to the response that is triggered once you perceive a potential stressor as a threat and beyond your ability to cope. The stress response begins in your brain as it sends messages throughout your body through nerve transmissions and circulating hormones that initiate a complex response designed to mobilize energy to fight or flee from the stressor. This fight or flight response is immediate, lifesaving, and the same for all people in response to all stressors. If fight or flight is not possible, your body shifts to a lower intensity response that adapts and resists the presence of the stressor. Over time, if the stressor is not eliminated or is not dealt with effectively, it depletes it. While the stress response is initially beneficial and designed to get you out of harm’s way and save your life, frequent or continuous activation of this same response can cause serious physical and psychological health problems.

Stress as a holistic phenomenon

Let’s use getting stuck in traffic and being 20 minutes late for an appointment as an example of what I mean by the holistic nature of stress. Imagine you are on your way to work this morning. Last night you had a bitter argument with your husband / wife and slept on the couch. You had an intermittent night’s sleep and woke up late with back pain. Arriving late, you rush out of the house, forget your briefcase and don’t have time for breakfast. On the way to work, she buys coffee and an egg sandwich at the drive-thru at her local fast food store. Still angry at his spouse and feeling distracted by the rush, he leaves the store without looking and nearly crashes into another car. You swerve to avoid the other driver, spilling hot coffee all over your new business suit you just bought last night in the process. Five miles into your 30-mile commute to work there was a highway accident involving a tractor-trailer and a mini-van slowing traffic to one pace. You realize that this will make you 20 minutes late for work and you will miss your appointment. Now you are really furious and you scream and scream from the accident passing by on the road. He fumbles for his cell phone and, while trying to drive and dial, calls his boss and explains that he will be late for work. Your utter sense of helplessness and inability to cope with this situation sounds the alarm for the initiation of a stress response.

Let’s look at the same accident and a 20 minute delay in different circumstances. Imagine that it is six months later. You’re on your way to work this morning. Last night you had a wonderful romantic evening with your husband / wife. Her daughter slept at a friend’s house and her spouse suggested that they play a little tennis together and then go out for a late dinner and a drink, even though it was the middle of the week. You had a great game of tennis, a wonderful meal, shared a great bottle of wine, and had the best sex in a long time, knowing your daughter was sleeping soundly at her friend’s house. You slept like a log and woke up late, but with a smile on your face.

You run out of the house, but be sure to stop and give your spouse a big hug and kiss. On the way to work, she buys coffee and an egg sandwich at the drive-thru at her local fast food store. Be careful not to spill the coffee on yourself as you slowly drive into traffic. A car cuts in front of you but you see it coming and you are able to avoid it without spilling coffee on yourself. As he leaves the store, he finds himself smiling and singing a song on the radio. You can’t remember when an egg sandwich tasted so good. In a few minutes you enter the highway. Five miles into your 30-mile commute to work there was a highway accident involving a tractor-trailer and a mini-van slowing traffic to one pace. You realize that this would make you 20 minutes late for work. As you pass the scene of the accident, you take a sip of coffee and are thankful that it is not you who is in the accident. He stops and calls his boss on the cell phone to explain that he will be late for work. You call the person you had the appointment with, apologize, and reschedule for another appointment.

In both situations, you were exposed to the same potentially stressful situation; falling behind schedule, getting stuck in traffic, and being 20 minutes late for work and an appointment. He encountered the potential stressor in two different sets of circumstances. These circumstances and the time between the two occasions definitely played a role in how you perceived the stressful potential each time it presented itself. In the first scenario, he was already tired and in a bad mood from the events of the night before and the early morning. Under those circumstances, he was unnecessarily rushed and distracted. Getting stuck in traffic and being late for work was very threatening and something you couldn’t deal with. In the second scenario, he was in such a good mood from the events of the night before and early morning that he felt like he could cope with just about anything. He was thinking more clearly and realized that rushing unnecessarily wouldn’t allow him to work much faster at this time of the morning. Instead of feeling stressed, he felt lucky to be safe in his car as he crawled through the accident scene.

A new way of looking at coping

Defining stress as a holistic transaction between an individual and a potential stressor that results in a stress response establishes a whole new way of dealing with stress. When you view stress in this way, you no longer see it as something that just happens to you and is out of your control. Stress is more than just “bills” or “traffic” or “the government.” Stress is now seen as something that you can play an active role in understanding and managing. This gives you a sense of power because it provides multiple places where you can step in and intervene in the transaction. The progression from a potential stressor to an actual stressor and stress response does not have to happen automatically. You play the most important role in determining how it proceeds.

The first way to intervene is to make a subtle change in your language. Simply using the words potential stressor, rather than calling them stressful, deactivates their power to create stress. It allows you to stop accepting the outdated belief that certain things are inherently stressful. The whole notion of universal stressors (things that are threats to everyone in all circumstances) is silly and something that you will no longer accept without question.

Another example of how you can intervene in the jump from potential stressor to stress response is to create a toolbox of different types of coping strategies that are based on your values ​​and work for you. In my approach to stress management, I teach students and clients a variety of coping strategies and levels that will provide them with all the tools they need to deal with an infinite variety of potential stressors. Think of each coping strategy as a resource at your disposal to deal with stressors. The more different coping resources you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to find one that works for you against a specific stressor in a specific place and time. Once you develop such a repertoire of coping strategies, you will begin to develop confidence in your ability to cope with almost any potential stressor. This is called your perceived ability to cope. If you think you can cope with a potential stressor, you will avoid being perceived as a threat. In other words, if you feel like a potential stressor is not a threat and you think you can cope with it, you can short-circuit your stress response.

Finally, by understanding that the stress transaction is holistic in nature, you will begin to recognize the important role your health plays in responding to stress. Since each transaction of stress is influenced by your overall level of well-being in all seven dimensions of health (physical, social, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, occupational, and environmental), you can become more resistant to stress if you develop high-level health. . High-level health can help you prevent potential stressors from turning into actual stressors by giving you the energy and resources you’ll need to accurately assess and cope with them appropriately.