New Englanders aren’t flocking to Florida’s sunny shores right now. This is probably because they are trapped by snow up to the dormers of their Capes and Colonials.

Eventually, the drafts will fade in places like Beacon Hill and Cambridge and Pawtucket. When that happens, marking the end of the Northeast’s second straight brutal winter, I look forward to hearing many more of those fun accents asking where to find a good lobster roll in Orlando. Unfortunately, I must report that the answer is not to bother trying.

However, this column is not a lament; it is a welcome. As a native of New York who now spends a lot of time in the citrus belt, I think Florida is a wonderful place. You just have to understand how things work. So here’s my Florida guide for shocked New Englanders, especially Bostonians. Every New Yorker knows that he needs all the help he can get.

Diversity: The term means something completely different in Florida. On the campuses along the Charles, it means people who look different from each other but think alike, specifically that Sen. Elizabeth Warren should be declared president by acclamation. In Florida you will find real and live Republicans as well as Democrats. Since they tend to live close to each other and sometimes even marry each other, they do not reflexively loathe each other. Consider the possibility that your neighbor across the street is not evil just because he put up a sign on the lawn for a candidate he opposes.

Idiom: Florida’s diversity is obvious in the conversations you’ll hear around you. Spend a day walking down Ocean Drive and Collins Avenue in Miami Beach and you’ll hear at least the following: English, Spanish, Portuguese (mostly spoken by Brazilians), Russian, Yiddish, French (mostly spoken by Canadians), and German. Miami is truly bilingual, and Spanish and English are used almost interchangeably. You almost have to consciously avoid learning some Spanish if you live there long enough. But why wouldn’t you want to speak a bit of the language of Calle Ocho (Calle Octava), the heart of Little Havana, where the last Friday night of each month brings a joyous street festival (“Cultural Fridays” or Cultural Fridays)) and restaurants that stay full until the wee hours of the morning? It’s fun and nobody judges you for trying. Spanish fades when you get to North Fort Lauderdale, except in a few areas around Tampa and Orlando, but even English will sound like a foreign language when you hear it in the upstate counties. That’s the Deep South, where people make wine from wild grapes called scuppernong, and “boxing pine” means cutting boxes out of pine bark to collect the sap used to make turpentine. Sounds a bit like maple sugar, right?

Meal: Speaking of maple, you’d better have breakfast at home if you insist on using what my wife calls “real syrup.” You can find maple syrup in any Florida grocery store, but some of their restaurants, and they may even charge you extra for it. Sorry, but most Floridians just don’t know any better. You also can’t get the aforementioned lobster roll in most of Florida. But aside from these shortcomings, you will generally find Florida cuisine delicious and varied. There are fresh local produce all year round, along with meat and an abundance of fish that is at least as good as what you will find in the north, although the species are different. Our ethnic diversity means that you will find almost any type of cuisine in the large cities of the state. In many rural areas, especially near the Gulf of Mexico, there is a marked French and Cajun influence, imported from Louisiana. And every breakfast north of Lake Okeechobee serves grits.

Summer weather: In New England you can hear such misinformed statements as “I could never stand the Florida heat in the summer.” Actually, other than San Francisco and maybe Down East Maine, you practically can’t find a colder summer than Florida – inland, of course, which is where you spend most of your time anyway. Almost all public spaces in Florida are air conditioned to bone-numbing levels. Two essential accessories for a Florida summer are an umbrella, to keep you dry in your daily afternoon shower, and a sweater, to prevent you from catching pneumonia when you arrive at your destination with air conditioning after forgetting your umbrella. Air conditioning and rain aside, Florida summers are more than tolerable. The nights are usually very pleasant to walk around after the rain stops. And most of the tourists are gone, which means the traffic is lighter and the restaurants are less crowded. You will probably get to enjoy the season much more than you expect.

Driving: Boston drivers are terrible. Florida drivers are terrible too. The difference is that in Florida we drive much, much faster than you do in New England. In the city or out in the country, the police generally ignore anyone doing less than 80 on interstates or on the Florida turnpike. Typical speeds in peripheral areas are even higher. These would be suicidal behaviors in the north. What makes driving in Florida viable is that the roads are so much better than New England. Not only are there virtually no potholes (as there is virtually no frost), Floridians expect many safety features, such as left turn lanes on city streets and acceleration lanes on highways. This is how it works: when entering a highway, you get a long stretch of road in which to reach the speed of traffic (that is, at least 75 mph) before merging. In the north, you often have to come to a complete stop, then abruptly exit into traffic and hope no incompetent Boston driver hits you from behind. Florida road is better.

Overpasses and tunnels: In New England you dig holes and bury things, like cellars and tunnels. No one digs holes in Florida except to see them fill with groundwater. So where there are tunnels, Florida highways have flyovers (also called “flyovers”) and the most elaborate interchanges on this side of California. We build them to keep traffic moving, but also for your eyesight. They are the highest hills our cars need to climb in South Georgia.

Seascapes and landscapes: The familiar hills of New England aren’t the only things you’ll miss when you arrive in Florida. The colorful fall foliage doesn’t exist here either. But many other things will be surprisingly familiar to you. North of Tampa and Daytona Beach, the remaining stands of beautiful longleaf pines resemble some of the woodlands of northern New England. The coastline and pleasure boats will remind you of Cape Cod and the islands, but Florida has much more coastline than the Cape, with beaches at least as beautiful. Florida also has thousands of freshwater ponds. But when you see fresh water in Florida, you should always assume that there is an alligator in it. Stay close to children and pets. That’s something you never thought about at home.

Finally, of course, there is the snow. You are sick of it. Floridians celebrate it. In fact, it snows in Florida, rarely in the north and very rarely as far south as the Miami suburbs. It’s practically a state holiday when it snows. But here’s the thing: when you move to Florida, you can give away your shovel and snow plow. No matter where you settle in the sunshine state, you will never need them.

See you after the spring thaw.