Dating and courtship have been called a strange culture in Africa. Many Christian denominations preach that dating is bad. If we can think about the meaning of courtship and courtship as the preliminary relationships to betrothal and marriage, we can appreciate the place and importance of these two keywords and activities in bringing boys and girls and men and women together for processing and enactment of the family Dating and courtship gatherings are held in public.

Boyfriend and girlfriend are the words commonly used to describe a boy and a girl or a man and a woman in an intimate relationship. Today, when two people of the opposite sex consider themselves friends, they are having sex outside of marriage. The main purpose of this type of relationship is to have a partner for sexual intercourse or for financial gain, much the same as prostitution.

One of the basic differences between the two types of relationships (dating and dating vs. boyfriend and girlfriend) described above is intent.

A friend is described as a friend, friend, partner, acquaintance, comrade, and ally. Friends help and support each other to grow in their strengths.

Premarital and extramarital sex is wrong anytime, anywhere. Those involved in them know it and feel it regardless of the pervasiveness of sexual promiscuity in society. This is underlined by the fact that those involved go into hiding to do it.

Dating and courtship activities are open public activities. But what boyfriends and girlfriends do together is done secretly and on the sly.

It is a misnomer to use boyfriend and girlfriend to describe the relationship between boys and girls and men and women when what they do is promote immorality and only think of marriage when the girl becomes pregnant or as a result of other incentives .

How can a boy or a man call a girl or a woman whom he invited to have sex with a friend? Friends build each other up. Premarital and extramarital sex is destructive for those involved. So a boy, man, woman or girl who has premarital or extramarital sex with someone is actually an enemy of that person and not a friend. In that case, we should think in terms of boy-enemy and girl-enemy.

Let it be repeated here that premarital and extramarital sex is destructive for those involved. You can’t have sex with someone who is just your friend. Sexual relations are appropriate only with a spouse, legally and lawfully married. It is preferable that we call things by his name. If a woman or a girl is looking for a man to pay her school fees, buy her clothes, pay her house rent, feed her, etc. and she’s willing to trade sexual favors for it, we know the name: PROSTITUTION. If a man is looking for a woman or girl to massage her sexual urges and is ready or already choosing her way to impress her, we know the name of that: PROSTITUTION. It’s called commercial sex, sex for and with money.

If a girl or a boy is your friend, you cannot be sexually involved with them. Friends build friends. Therefore, it is a misnomer to call a commercial sex client boyfriend or girlfriend.

We’re copying even the way we breathe and talk about the West, so we can’t pontificate about copying white man dating and courtship. What our people need is an understanding of these terms as they apply to what we are already doing and learning how to do them well to promote a happy loving and married relationship.